rules. From the lightly exhilarating thrill of jaywalking, to plagiarism's dark vileness, I revel in them all. This is why I am skipping ahead in my Blog Challenge to Day 7 *insert evil smiley*! Fret not; I shall return to the days that are skipped and complete them when the mood strikes.
[NB: I do not practice plagiarism, or in any way endorse that sort of behavior. The above was written for comedic effect only. However, I will hold true to the admission of my fondness of jaywalking.]
Day 7 - Four turn-offs
1) That initial ice-cold spray from the shower-head every time I turn on the water to wash myself. Granted, that's not very often...
2) Food that looks much tastier than it actually is. There is something deeply upsetting about food when its aesthetic appeal far surpasses its palatability. The disappointment is so great that the libido of any ordinary man cannot stand uninjured.
3) Jeans that have a tendency to ride up. Admit it, guys; all feelings of sexiness dissipate when your very own trousers turn against you and obstinately afflict you with constant wedgies.
4) Finding giant boogers in the deep crevices of my nostrils. As satisfying as it might feel, there is nothing less arousing than picking out a fat piece of crusty booger.
Guys (and girls, perhaps), I think you will find that my list also holds true for you. Unless of course, you are a sexual deviant who entertains some bizarre snot fetish. If that is the case, then I do not condemn you; as they say: "it takes all kinds to make the world go round". Commander JerBear signing off.
[NB: I do not practice plagiarism, or in any way endorse that sort of behavior. The above was written for comedic effect only. However, I will hold true to the admission of my fondness of jaywalking.]
Day 7 - Four turn-offs
1) That initial ice-cold spray from the shower-head every time I turn on the water to wash myself. Granted, that's not very often...
2) Food that looks much tastier than it actually is. There is something deeply upsetting about food when its aesthetic appeal far surpasses its palatability. The disappointment is so great that the libido of any ordinary man cannot stand uninjured.
3) Jeans that have a tendency to ride up. Admit it, guys; all feelings of sexiness dissipate when your very own trousers turn against you and obstinately afflict you with constant wedgies.
4) Finding giant boogers in the deep crevices of my nostrils. As satisfying as it might feel, there is nothing less arousing than picking out a fat piece of crusty booger.
Guys (and girls, perhaps), I think you will find that my list also holds true for you. Unless of course, you are a sexual deviant who entertains some bizarre snot fetish. If that is the case, then I do not condemn you; as they say: "it takes all kinds to make the world go round". Commander JerBear signing off.
Oh Jerry you're such a turn off..that you even turn yourself off. HAHAHA.
ReplyDeleteCold showers are turn-offs, but sometimes, that is a good thing. ;)
ReplyDeleteDoes item #3 apply to commenter #1?
@ Aaron YOU SUCK. LOL
ReplyDelete